Safe bathing - with an armed guard

Mette, Jutta and I have lunch together in Nablus after a morning with the Women, and go into town by ourselves. It's lucky I didn't get my only tourist impression from Bethlehem...Nablus was aggressive, explicitly.

"Is your grandfather Jewish?" I was asked (in Arabic, nobody here spoke English), after asking the way to the Tomb of Joseph (in the Danish guidebook). Erm, no. Admitting to Danish nationality didn't go down at all well, and Mette and Jutta retired to play volleyball with the children (all boys) around. "I'm Hamas" said another man (no women to be seen; men appearing from nowhere). "What do you think about that?". I explain we're tourists. "Jewish?" Erm, no, again. "Why do you want to see Joseph?" We've just been to Jacob's Well, and the guidebook says we're near to the tomb.

Eventually they point the way, and the posse of boys accompanies us, jostling and generally harassing us. We try to go into the bombed out shell of a tomb, but shouts from police and soldiers stop us. We are met by the same suspicion though reined in: "Why do you want to go in?". They radio for permission ("Just say British" says the superior after hearing "British and Danish") and then lead the way. "Israel did all this damage" they tell us, fairly needlessly. I ask how old the tomb is. "Old, old, 200 years at least". I look very baffled indeed. "Surely not", I say, wondering how bad my Arabic is. "Thousands, right?" They look baffled. "The son of Jacob died min zaman [ages ago]." "But this isn't the son of Jacob".

Light dawns.
- There are two Josephs?
- Of course.
- This isn't the Prophet Joseph?
- No no no!
- Where's the Prophet Joseph?
- In Egypt.

We laugh.

They laugh a lot, and explain that this is a very famous Muslim Sheikh from the 18th century, targeted by the Israelis on account of his importance to the locals. No wonder they were suspicious.



Soon after we bump into an official from the tourist board who is horrified that we are by ourselves, and gives us an armed guard, who then waits for an hour while we bathe - in a lovely Turkish bath with all trimmings - steam, scrub, massage, soak, shower and lying/dozing on a huge heated marble table. A waste of Palestinian police time? Almost certainly, but almost certainly nicer for him too: sitting drinking tea waiting for bathing Western beauties to appear.

We return to the Women restored, though of course everyone is jealous again, and we are being majorly disapproved of - not without cause. Looking back, I should have left days ago.